Angkor WHAT????

Angkor Wat or Angkor What?

Both seem to blur into one as the viewing of Angkor Wat (a massive Buddhist temple in Siem Reap) was severely impacted by Angkor What? (a local drinking establishment frequented by most backpackers in the area.)

VS

We went for sunset armed with our favourite photo taking, model posing German, and captured the moment perfectly. The black and white camera settings and poses dictated by our own director made for a wonderful photo shoot that would only continue into the coming days/weeks. Obviously, when Hannah and I find something funny, we just can't drop it and so the joke continues and escalates horribly. Somehow our running jokes have actually been going since January and we're STILL not bored of them. How I can't wait to annoy a whole new batch of people with them when I get home...

Anyway, we're not the first to notice the hilarity of watching people crack out their poses at various touristic monuments. The best and most common ones to note are the peace sign at a perfect 45 degree angle to the head, the lean against the tree and the longing gaze whilst hugging a wall. These are all catalogue poses to perfection. Obviously, we hold them in such high regard that it is 100% necessary to imitate them at every moment possible. Hannah's even managed to wack out a lying down pose outside Angkor Wat which has to be the best one that we've managed. Pictures will have to be uploaded at a later date as I'm still a bit scared to put the USB in the computers here!

But back to the point - we have some beautifully posed pictures of sunset but when you go to Siem Reap you are also meant to go for sunrise. But, there is a horrible obstacle in the way to test your temple commitment...

PUB STREET

If I could put a sound track on right now there would be one... da da daaaaa.

Our commitment to the temples was already faltering some what having traipsed around more than a few during our time in Asia and even lived at one. Unfortunately, as appealing as it sounded getting up at 4:30 am to go and look at another one from a different angle we failed miserably. We had even booked the tuktuk man and everything, but our alarms failed us as Temple Bar, Angkor What? and the German took hold (this is the same German that was responsible for obscene memory loss in Nha Trang, we should learn to ditch him  but he keeps following us around). 

We stumbled in from our podium dancing, cocktail drinking fun (just to win a tshirt that has actually come in very handy to help us cover up in India) about an hour before sunrise. Any sensible person would just stay awake but we decided to nap. A fatal move. I'm going to blame Apple for this one... the volume of the alarm on an Ipod Touch just doesn't cut it when you need waking from such a peaceful slumber. Normally we're pretty dedicated and can get up anyway. How wrong we were this time. 

I woke up at 6:30 to Hannah sat bolt up right in bed trying to 'find the exercise belt'. Having watched her empty the entire contents of her bag and pull out a leather belt I finally twigged... it was another sleep talking episode AND we had missed the sunrise AND Mr Tuk Tuk was probably waiting for us outside. Oh Dear. 

Eventually we roused ourselves to head temple bound. As far as they go, Angkor Wat is very impressive. Its huge, and full of some very exciting steps that may even rival those on the Inca Trail. In Toby (the Germans) absence we resumed our catalogue posing around the other 4 or 5 temples that followed that day. 

We went to the one that Tomb Raider was filmed in which was pretty cool although I was quite disappointed by Lara Crofts absence. Then off to another couple of smaller ones that Mr Tuk Tuk told us were quite boring ... he knows us so well! 

So our temple work was over by lunchtime, thankfully as it gets VERY hot post 1 o'clock which is the perfect time for a quick nap in preparation for the night ahead. 

And before you judge, the night ahead was not only to do with drinking. We also went and watched a cello performance. Beatocello. Can you believe it? Two classical performances in once travelling trip? Wow. I didn't think that would happen. Mr. Beatocello was very good at playing the cello, but the main reason for the performance was to raise awareness, to donate money (if you're old) and blood (if you're young) to the children's hospitals that he has set up and was running throughout Cambodia. They are 90% funded by public donation and are very impressive, check out the link below for more info. 

http://www.beat-richner.ch/

After some cello magic it was time to return to the one and only 

PUB STREET

Which once again was messy. We HAD to get hold of an Angkor What? t-shirt to match up with our Temple Bar tshirt. This meant ordering another couple of cocktails and dancing on some more podiums which clearly we had to oblige.Oh god I've done it again, it sounds like all we do is drink. There is culture involved on this trip I promise! 

So, the next morning  we were off to purchase our pressies for Sunrise Orphanage... I'll hit you up with another link.

http://www.scv.org.au/

Its a really nice project across Cambodia.  So armed with hoola hoops, bouncy balls, skipping ropes and some other weird toy things that everyone plays with in Cambodia and I don't really know how to describe we were off to pay them a visit. 

Being hollared at by Tuk Tuk men is an everyday part of walking around in any country in south-east Asia and I have to say that by Cambodia, our last country in the area we were getting a bit sick of it. Our usual tactic of dealing with them as they follow alongside you as you walk is to ask if they'll take us for free. It normally works as they laugh and drive off, but this time it worked on a whole new level. We asked to go for free, he laughed and then asked where we were going. When we replied, to the orphanage, we actually managed to get a free ride there; 'you help my country, I'll help you'. What a nice Tuk Tuk man.

Unfortunately, we turned up at the gates to find that they are actually shut on Saturdays. How orphanages can be shut I don't really understand, but we left the toys with the security man and received a lovely thank you email from the staff there a couple of days later. As much as we really wanted the chance to play with the kids, it was great to feel like we were doing something to help them.

After this the Cambodian hospitality reached new heights as Mr Tuk Tuk II took us for beers with his friends at a local hang out. Several rounds later and a lot more food eaten we were well acquainted with our little crew. We had played 'The Game' with them which basically involves going to various posh sales outlets and pretending to be interested in their handicrafts. In return for taking you there Mr Tuk Tuk II gets commission and usually some free petrol vouchers. We're pretty well practiced at pretending to be interested in such goods in order to knock down the price of a tuk tuk ride here and there, but this time we got the benefits too as Mr Tuk Tuk II shared his bevvy and meal tokens with us for a slap up portion of lok lak and some quality entertainment. How we love random outings with the locals. 

We got back bevvied up just in time to hit up 

PUB STREET

again! 

This time we got to have a little rave with some Cambodian kiddies in the street who were mega cute and VERY happy with the lolly pops and chips that we got them. Maybe not quite as pleased as we were with our 2nd Angkor What? tshirt and 3rd Temple bar tshirt that also got given to some random kids.

More horrendousness followed including reunions with good old Russel Crowe that we met in Byron. We do love a good random reunion, and a hung over mini bus journey, and so the crew for the final leg of South East Asia in Bangkok began its formation, more deets to follow. 

The Road to Recovery

Cambodia is a country that I have been amazed by. It definitely wins the nicest people award! Considering the poverty in the country and amount of recent upheaval its been through you never see anyone that isn't smiling. All the kids are so happy and so keen to learn its ridiculous, we've had hundreds of them running up to us in the streets just to say hello and practice their English without any hidden motive to sell you something (which always makes a change). Hannah and I were bowled over with how much they will go out of their way to help you and make sure that you enjoy your time in their country.

This was all put massively into perspective when we went and visited S-21 prison and The Killing Fields while we were in Phnom Penh. From a population of only 7 million, 2 million were slaughtered during the regime of Pol Pot. Whilst this statistic is horrendous in itself the main problems that the country is still dealing with is that it was 2 million of the most well educated people living in the country. The regime targeted doctors, lawyers, lecturers, anyone with a profession that could be a threat to their total domination over the country. Now the country is faced with the problem of having to train up enough young people to deal with the ongoing AIDs and Dengue Fever epidemics that are still killing thousands of Cambodians.

S-21 use to be a school that was quickly turned into a concentration camp when the regime entered Phnom Penh. Even the old monkey bar poles were used a torture instruments. Its not the only one of its kind but it saw one of the largest numbers of prisoners go in and never come out of it. Instead, the prisoners were taken here, brutally tortured before being taken to the Killing Fields, where they're throats were cut using the sharp edge of a palm tree leaf. This is no way to guarantee death so once they were kicked into the pit the soldiers would pour acid on them to make sure that they were dead and get rid of the smell. As if thats not bad enough the women were raped before being murdered and the children were killed by smashing their heads against a nearby tree or throwing them in the air and shooting them like clay pigeons.

You can still see the remains of bones and clothes coming up through the ground. When it rains the movement if the earth brings up fresh remains.

To commemorate the dead and remind people of what happened the current government have created a massive monument, a kind of mass grave, at the entrance. Its full of all the skulls and bones that they have found by excavating the pits.

Its a very moving day trip to both the prison and to the fields. How all of this went on only 30 years ago and no one really knows about it at home I have no idea.

You notice the effects of this period in Cambodian history every day that you walk around, the people are all so young because basically an entire generation is missing. Everyone that you speak to you are left wondering which members of their family were taken from them and what they have experienced in their lives.

Fortunately now Cambodia definitely feels like a country on the road to recovery and I would encourage anyone that goes there to do what they can to help. We took some toys to an orphanage and were careful to stay at hotels that were linked with the Child Safe Foundation which means that a portion of the money that you spend goes towards helping out the kids in any way necessary. There are loads of other little schemes set up all over the country that try to give back as much as possible to those that need it most, so by participating in as many of those as possible and not buying from kids on the street it doesn't take a lot to give them a hand. 

If I were a 3ft Vietnamese Kid this would be comfy.

In Vietnam its pretty necessary to get down with the war history and go and visit the Cu Chi Tunnels near Ho Chi Minh City. They're quite drive away down the Saigon river but they are one of the only reasons that people swarm to Ho Chi Minh and it can be done in half a day.

They're the tunnels that were used by the Vietnamese to hide from the American attacks throughout the war. Its an amazingly intricate network of tunnels that you would defo get lost down! There are tunnels at three different distances from the surface and they take you everywhere! Some parts are still open to the public so you can go for a bit of an explore and despite the fact that they are now lit in most places they are pretty claustrophobic even for the not claustrophobic types.

Watching a couple of 6ft western lads getting down them is quite amusing though so I would recommend taking a peek down them just for the giggles. They weren't really built for anyone much above 3ft, and certainly not of the much larger western frame. No wonder the American had such a problem hunting them out - there's no chance that they would even get down them if they could find them, so instead they resorted to chucking grenades down there... charming.

The entrance

You can also see some of the traps that they used to trap the American soldiers that were on the ground. To be fair with these kind of things lying around every corner its not surprising that the Americans couldn't beat the Guerrilla tactics.

Imagine treading on a pile of leaves to find that beast underneath it. Things probably wouldn't look to great.

We were also allowed to fire guns mwah ha haha! They have loads of left over bullets that they basically sell to tourists to blow targets up so that they make a hefty profit. It was pretty fun though. Han and I had a go on the Carbine which makes us sound all cool and warlike. We well wanted a go on the machine gun but our funds didn't stretch that far. We honed our skills anyway because we got to have another go in Cambodia when we NEARLY hit bulls eye! and surprisingly nearly every shot hit the paper. Proud.

Aside from the tunnels we had a quick look round ANOTHER market, got drowned by more Vietnam rain and had a couple of drinks whilst being leched on by MORE Vietnamese footballers playing for the same team as the last bunch. I reckon their following us. 

The Deluxe Boat

I have a new filming destination to suggest to the crew at Lord of the Rings... Ditch New Zeland and go for Halong Bay. They could probably use the money more in Vietnam and the scenery is spectacular.

We only had time to speed around the bay for a day (anyone planning on going try and factor in a 2 day, 1 night trip, it sounds like better value for money) but we still managed to see all the main sites and even crack out a bit of kayaking, the best way to get up close to the fishing villages.

We had a bit of a flash packer experience as we ended up on a very posh boat (the deluxe) and certainly managed to wangle a VERY nice lunch complete with token Desperate Housewives to make us in our travelly gear feel pretty disgusting as they spoke of their swankey expat homes in Singapore with their manicured nails and pearl necklaces.

We also went and saw the caves in the bay which were spectacular. I've been caving before, but these were like nothing I've ever seen.

1) because they're enormous
2) because of the droves of tourists, literally swarming like ants through them.

The authenticity was spoiled a little bit because of that and because of the disco lights that were everywhere. They made it look cool but it was less au naturale and more Ibiza chic.

Family Outing in Hanoi

From Laos to Nam has won the prize for the worst bus journey EVER! Our VIP sleeper bus turned out to be a not so VIP local bus. This would be fine for a couple of hours, but when posed with the threat of 24 hours in this steamy hot little tin can we weren't particularly impressed!

The anger got worse as 24 hours turned into 30. 30 hours of gail force winds as the guy infront insisted on having the window open and filling our faces with dust, constant breaks to wee at the side of the road, people sitting on the floor, the most annoying ringtones in the world left unanswered until the last second when they would shout 'HALO' at the tops of their voices and then proceed to have a Dom Jolly style conversation for the whole world, let alone the whole bus to hear. Phew rant over.The one good thing to happen amongst this mayhem was that we met our family that would accompany us on our day trips around Hanoi. Bonded over the horrors of the local bus and free beer not much can break it now.

Touch down in Hanoi, Vietnam, the home of the most ridiculous moped filled roads I have ever seen. There is only one way to approach them and that is to shut you eyes and walk at the traffic head on, allowing the countless mopeds and bicycles to swerve round you. On one occassion our road crossing skills were admired by on lookers and followed up with a round of applause. That was a proud travelling moment right there. Eventually, when I'm brave enough to plug my camera into one of Asia's fine computers I have an amazing video of us attempting to cross which is the only way I can accurately show the manic nature of this city.

The moment that we achieved our clap for crossing was just before we spent a joyous hour watching the water puppets, a traditional Vietnamese recreation and a pretty big mistake to go and see. I felt pretty sorry for Toby and Thijs who we dragged with us to watch an hour of crazy puppets splashing about to the tuneful tones of Vietnamese singing. It was interesting to see but I think any longer than an hour may have resulted in me cutting my wrists to end the pain. Thankfully we'd had a couple of beers while waiting for the show which probably helped to numb the blow.

Having being donned 'the organised type' a mirical description for the pair of us as we normally wait for other people to tell us what we should be seeing, the boys also joined us for a family outing to the prison. This was before the water puppet catastrophe, so they still had a bit of faith in us.

Anyway the prison is worth a visit. It's where they kept the American P.O.W after their planes went down near the city and also where hundreds of Vietnamese accused of war crimes had been held before that. There was a stark contrast made between the treatment of the Americans and that of the Vietnamese before them. According to the videos (I'm not sure how accurate they really are) the Americans lived in relative luxury, (being allowed to celebrate Christmas etc.) in a place where Vietnamese had been savagely tortured and murdered - we even saw the guilloteen. While I don't doubt the horrors of the prison before it was used for the American P.O.W, I do think that there may have been a fair amount of propaganda involved when reporting on the Americans situation.

So that side of the family outing was pretty good, followed up with some street food, free beer (courtesy of central backpackers) and Mickey Finn (can you believe we found Mickey Finn in Vietnam!?) it turned out to be a good day, ending in a drunken game of two truths and a lie (aka Tobys confessions)which was very amusing!

Unfortunately, the boys decided to wuss out of the last nights festivities and chose sleep over Lighthouse, the only club in Hanoi open past 1ish. It's in the middle of nowhere but is where you need to go if your on a hunt for backpackers, or creepy footballers. Unfortunately we found the latter and ended up getting mobbed by Vietnams football league. In fairness we got some free drinks but quickly realised that they were a little bit scary, sooo our ravey night out turned into a sandwhich and hasty retreat back to the hostel!

So go to Hanoi! It wins the prize for best place to visit in Vietnam, particularly as it acts as a spring board to the beautiful Halong Bay which gets a blog all of it's own...

48 hours of silence, honest

Over 3 days I managed to spend 48 hours in silence. This is coming from the girl that use to find an hours sponsored silence at Brownies too much of a struggle.

And it wasn't just being quiet, it was meditated silence which means you can't even carry around a pad of paper, use sign language or make stupid faces without receiving a disappointed glance from the monks.

Day 1 was tricky, day 2 eased up but by day 3 I had thought about anything stressing me and moved on from it and was left with a blank canvas which drove me mad. Apparently I may have dosed off in the morning session but it was at 5am when you are supposed to be asleep! Not sitting in a dark silent room with your eyes shut but not asleep! Anyway I don't believe Hannah that I was asleep, I think she is just jealous of how calm and concentrated my mind is.

In fairness this meditation malarky was pretty good. It's not something that I would ever chose to do for three days straight again, but as a practice of thought it makes sense. The best way to describe the idea behind it is to take your thoughts that are generally in a confused storm. You spend your time flitting from one idea to the next. You should take the tome to stop that and focus on each thought individually until it is resolved or you come to a point where you can put it to the side and not let it bother you.

It's a frustrating process bit it works. Hannah and I did leave feeling like we had achieved something, even if we did sneak out and get pot noodles and eat them past lunchtime which we weren't supposed to do. Oh and break the solitary confinement rules by sharing a room no matter how small because we are now joined at the hip and too scared to sleep alone. I won't tell the monks if you don't!

Despite all this I would recommend it as a challenge to anyone. Come on if I can shut up and do it surely anyone can and I promise you will see the benefits. Wow u sound like I've gone all hippy.

Do it. I dare you.

Certificate City... Chang Mai

Hannah and I are officially massively skilled peeps....

We have certificates in Thai massage, Thai cooking, trekking, elephant riding, xorbing, meditating, bamboo rafting.

So finally I have something cultural to say rather than wittering on about drinking pretty much ALL the time. Instead now, you could pretty much call us Thai after all the skills that we have acquired. Whether I should really be admitting the completion of massage and cooking courses I'm not sure as I'm worried that the fam may take advantage of these when I get back. Maybe that can be allowed on birthdays and other special occassions... but don't get any ideas!!

Chang Mai is the place where you can learn everything Thai but theres not a lot else going down. We also managed to go watch some Thai Boxing (Han wasn't up for learning that one... I'd sooo win) which was pretty cool but at the same time quite sad. The boys that were fighting were really really young to start with and it did seem a little bit like they had been forced up there. I didn't feel quite so guilty watching by the end however, as we later saw their big
brothers get up and do the same... the boxing matches turned into a bit of a family occassion
as well as a spectator sport and opportunity for some gambling.

The trek was awesome. We did it over a couple of days, starting off with elephant riding, trekking throughout the next couple of days to some waterfalls and tribal villages, and finishing it all off with some bamboo rafting. The rafting was probably the highlight (as well as cracking out a few games of shit head with our group), largely because we got attacked by a group of local kids and ended up having a massive water fight mid journey. Hannah ended up being thrown off the raft completely and another member of our group sported a great big gash on his knee... war wounds to be proud of.

The guides definitely made our time in the jungle highly entertaining. Chang (aptly named after the local Thai beer) was hillarious. That man knew how to party big time. Within minutes of arriving at camp he would always be the first to crack open a beer and whack out a spliff.

On the first night he was literally crazy, I don't know how many times it is possible to say "excellent but not perfect" or "lovely jubbly" but he should win the prize. He also boast a wonderful singing voice and extensive repetoire, particularly with his repetitive renditions of Lady GaGa's 'Bad Romance', yes she has reached the remote tribes of Chang Mai that were particularly tuneful, especially whilst accompanied by another guide Neo (after the Matrix) on the guitar. The pair put together made for a lot of entertainment throughout as they not only taught us how to smoke out a squirrel from its hide away in the tree and eat bark that apparently whitens your teeth.

After all that trekking it was pretty important to get our massage skills sorted. So off to Janes for two days of intensive back cracking and shoulder rubbing lessons. Personally it was just a great excuse to get massages all day because obviously we have to 'practice'. Talking of which I think Han hasn't been utilising her new found skills enough...